"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 corinthians 1:18

"For you see your calling, brethren that not many wise according to the flesh not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the the weak things of the world to put to shame the things that are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God-and righteousness and sanctification and redemption-that, as it is written, He who glories, let him glory in the Lord." 1 cor. 1: 26-31

I love these verses because they give me reassurance that God did not make a mistake in choosing me, the greatest of sinners, as one of His own. He is only following through with what He said he would do...choose the weak, broken, and unworthy. I was reading Jude today and realized that I am no different then the men and women he is addressing. I have rejected authority, served myself, grumbled, flattered people to gain advantage and walked according to my own lusts. I find myself reading through the word a little intimidated by my massive failure to live rightly and overcome the enemy each day. I even hear my thoughts say, "Lord, how can I escape hell, when I am such as these?" As usual I read on and find the answer, "But you, BELOVED, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, KEEP yourselves in the LOVE of GOD, looking for the MERCY of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life." Jude 1:20-21  It again comes back to faith. Faith that He is who He says He is and I am saved only because of what He has done. This is the GOOD NEWS. There is for sure a hell and I deserve it no doubt because I am wretched and a hypocrite if I claim anything other than the mercy of Christ. I am so thankful for my savior. I am so thankful that He is my hope, all glory and honor  to Him!

"Now to Him who is able to keep

 you from stumbling,

 And to present you faultless 

Before the presence of His glory with

 exceeding joy,  

To our God and Savior,

 Who alone is wise,

Be glory and majesty,

Dominion and power,

Both now and forever.

Amen"   

Jude 1:24-25

Trials=God's blessings!

Is it raining, little flower? 

Be Glad of rain; 

too much sun would wither one; 

It will shine again. 

The clouds are very dark, it's true; 

But just behind them shines the blue.

Are you weary, tender heart? 

Be glad of pain:

In sorrow, sweetest virtues grow,

As flowers in rain. 

God watches, and you will have sun,

When clouds their perfect work have done.

-Lucy Larcom

What if the parable of five talents was a metaphor for pain and struggle? If we are dealing with a heavenly currency what would God use to make us more like Him and prepare our hearts for a world without sin? 

When I spend time with the Lord we hike and listen to Ben Howard. We don't have to chat much because He has created all things to mimic His character and I grow to know Him more deeply by just opening my eyes to what is around me. The struggle I go through to get to the top of that mountain get's easier the more I discipline myself to do it, and the more I do it the better I feel. Despite it's obvious benefits I struggle to commit and be consistent. It is the same with spending time in the word, and washing my mind of all the lies of this world and filling it with truth. I feel better after and I feel empowered to battle on and seek righteousness. You would think that this would keep me starving for more, and eager each day to dive into this weapon that the Lord has given me, but quite the contrary actually. I have many seasons in which I completely avoid. The faithfulness of God is the pain and the fire in which He bestows upon me to keep me close and hungry. In nature to much sun shine will wither the flower, and to much rain will wash it away, but the perfect combination of both produces fields of wildflowers and are we not more valuable to the Lord than the flower? He is the great "I am" and all things are Father filtered and in this we must trust. He knows exactly how much "talents" we need to prepare us for eternity. This world is but a breath and a vapor. I implore you today to find rest in His word from what you are battling and waring against. He will meet you with His peace and mercy. Do not be discouraged by the trials you face because He says...."For those whom the Lord loves He Disciplines, and scourges every son He receives." Hebrews 12:6 He is trusting you with the five talents. He is teaching you how to store up blessings where they matter. 

"My grace IS sufficient for you." 2 corinthians 12:9

"Never change God's facts in to hopes and prayers but simply accept them as realities, and you will find them to be powerful as you believe them." H.W. Webb Peploe

His grace IS sufficient. He doesn't promise it will be, it just IS. Wow, what a reality to swallow. In our brokenness, loneliness, hard marriages, difficult jobs, financial struggles, health problems and loss of loved ones His grace IS enough. What does that mean? What does enough look like? Job struggled, he complained, and he felt hopeless but yet He was without sin. So how does "sufficient grace" manifest in our lives? What are we called to believe in, or for, and how do we walk that out so that He and others know we believe what He says? I looked up the word "grace" and one of the definitions said, "A state of being protected or sanctified by the favor of God." I found it fitting. In our complaining, in our lacking and our sin we are protected by His limitless favor, being sanctified by His grace through our struggles. What an incredible protection He offers His children and if we accept we feel secure and hopeful despite ourselves and our circumstances. One of my favorite musicians, Jason Gray, talks all about this in his song "Remind Me Who I am". Is it not true that when we forget who we are in God's grace that we find ourselves in the greatest pits of despair?  I know it has rang true in my life and it is only He who can give hope and freedom and outside of that protection it feels like hell (or what I imagine it to be).
I often pray that God would stamp eternity on my eyes and that my focus would be on forever with Him and less on this world. Are we not just blades of grass, here today and gone tomorrow? Why then do I spend so much time and energy on that which is temporary? I want freedom, and I'm sure that it exist somewhere inside of faith. It is in that faith that we believe what God says and simply accept it regardless of how far fetched and unattainable it feels and seems. I want to believe that I am beautiful, valuable, lovable, worthy and righteous because He says so not because I am skinny, I work hard, I'm accomplished, I behave or because others say so. I want the faith of a mustard seed, that believes that He loves me. If I could just trust in that, knowing His character, then I would already have more than enough. When my brain is tempted to go to 'the grass is greener place'  I will focus on all that is noble, pure, right and holy (Philippians 4:8) and remind myself that it is the discipline of faith that brings me to a place of contentment and sufficiency. What a loving and gracious God.

"I implore you to not give in to despair. It is dangerous temptation, because our Adversary has refined it to the point that it is quite subtle. Hopelessness constricts and withers the heart, rendering it unable to sense God's blessing and grace. It also causes you to exaggerate the adversities of life and makes your burdens seem too heavy to bare. Yet God's plans for, and His ways of bringing about His plans, are infinitely wise." -Madame Guyon

I know in my head that I am not the only one struggling and battling against hopelessness, but how isolated I feel by it. Faith and Wisdom are the friends I wish I hung out with more, but I tend to allow my insecurities to keep me from calling them. They seem so out of my league and to busy to deal with my weakness and hesitation. Now Jesus, He seems to be a little easier on my conscience, but I fight to believe that because otherwise I got nothing. What will He say about my anger and frustration? How can the potter ask the pot to be anything other than the pot He created it to be? Especially, after the pots been used, and cracked, and weathered by the many washings. I cannot reconcile in my mind the expectations that loom over me. I'm not offended that I have to be obedient, I'm frustrated that He won't cure me of my lust, selfishness, insecurities, and pride.  The God of the universe who created it in less than a week seems, in my tiny brain, to be a spectator to my sin. The natural progression, of course, is to assume one self a failure and therefore unlovable. The Adversary triumphs because I'm caught in a stalemate. Inevitably, He will rescue me for the billionth time from my weak mind and consume my heart. I'm waiting with the lump in my throat and the shame on my shoulders. My hopelessness takes seed, in this cycle, that I long to overcome and only have the memory to fuel my 'victorious living'. Oh Father, why do you tarry? What is Your brilliant mind trying to work in to my heart? Why am I so deaf and stubborn?

There is this one thing that has become 'the thing' that taints all other things. This thing, is the most effective of weapons against my heart in the enemy's hands. In the hands of my savior it's the thing that keeps me so closely dependent upon His grace and His mercy. This thing is the vain of my existence, the thing that paralyzes me to hope against the odds and to venture out in bravery. This thing, I hate, is the thing that I never asked for but am reminded of by one right after the other. Repetition is is the most successful of ideologies because it resembles a hammer that never tires until it's job is complete. It's the one thing that I cannot seem to shake or overcome. Lord, cure me, take me home, take away this one thing...take away my humanity. Take away my struggle against my flesh!