I prayed for strength, and then I lost awhile all sense of nearness, human and divine; The love I leaned on failed and pierced my heart, the hands I clung to loosed themselves from mine; but while I swayed weak, trembling, and alone, the everlasting arms upheld my own.
I prayed for light; the sun went down in clouds, the moon was darkened by a misty doubt, the stars of heaven were dimmed by earthly fears, and all my little candle flames burned out; but while I sat in shadow; wrapped in night, the face of Christ made all the darkness bright.
I prayed for peace, and dreamed of restful ease, a slumber free from pain, a hushed repose; above my head the skies were black with storm, and fiercer grew the onslaught of my foes; but while the battle raged, and wild winds blew, I heard His voice and perfect peace I knew.
I thank you, Lord, You were too wise to heed my feeble prayers,and answer as I sought, since these rich gifts Your bounty has bestowed have brought me more than all I asked or thought; giver of good, so answer each request with Your own giving, better than my best. -Annie Johnson Flint
I am convinced that I will never understand, this side of heaven, how we ought to pray or the importance of it to our faith. The "lord's Prayer" hardly seems like an adequate model for us to live by when we are to pray without ceasing and our prayers are the very incense before God's throne. Do not misunderstand, I love prayer. I love that we get to talk with The Great I am, the King of Kings without fear or reservation. I love that we can offer prayer to others as hope, during hopelessness, and that it really carries its weight. I love that prayer has many dimensions and can change our hearts as we are lamenting for someone else's. I just want to know more about it, and have a greater understanding of what the Lord intended in its design. It seems that often, if not always, prayer is the predecessor to all the miracles done by the disciples in the new testament. Oh what I would give to converse with just one of them, preferably Peter, because there are so many other things I would like to ask him. I want to get what he finally understood, that changed him from being denying Peter to Peter who hung upside down on the cross. Also, I relate to Peter. I seem to be an instrument of satan more often than I would like to admit. I fall short and I'm quick to speak, slow to listen and impulsive in my behavior. People, might have said the same things of us. I love the Lord so much and yet I often make Him look the fool for choosing me. It breaks my heart. Prayer is such a relief, a gift for me, because God understands my weakness and my heart. I feel like I can get on my knees before Him and love someone rightly, wholly, when I have failed to love them again and again in real life to my everlasting shame. I want more of this and less of selfish, weak, inconsistent Theresa. I want to grow in my prayer life and be more effective in my love for others. This is my prayer.
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