Giving thanks always for all things unto God. Ephesians 5: 20

I'm not really sure what "relationship" with God really means. Does He talk with us outside of the Bible? I don't know. How do we have a relationship with someone we only have one way conversations with? I don't doubt the existence of God and Christ, or even His sacrifice for me, but I struggle with believing in the intimacy between us. Obedience is commanded and rightly so; after all, He is God the creator and I am the created. I just cannot get my mind around what He wants with me relationally. I'm a firm believer that pain and suffering are gifts that He gives to build our character and our perseverance but what does He mean when He says "plans to prosper you, and not harm you, to give you a future and a hope"? I find my hopes often dashed and and my prosperity minimal. I know that most of this is based upon perspective. Of course I am blessed and I have a lot to be thankful for in comparison to so many. I try to hold on to this and really maintain a sense of contentment but my humanity often wins out and I feel sad for wanting more. I feel disappointed that my "christian" marriage fell apart and that I couldn't make it work, I feel sad that I am alone and without children and I'm frustrated that I haven't used my singleness as an opportunity to live whole heartedly for God. I some how feel entitled to His voice if He isn't going to give me the desires of my heart. I feel He owes me a "relationship". My brain can conclude that this is craziness, but my heart is relentless. How can He be 'All that I need' if what I need is a best friend, a lover and a dad? I opened up my devotional book yesterday and I was thinking about all of this and the Lord's 'answer' to me....Ephesians 5:20.

"Giving Thanks ALWAYS for all things unto GOd."

Regardless if I understand it or even believe whole heartedly, all things are Father filtered, and I have to trust in His kindness and love despite my feelings and my longings. This is the call of faith. It's often a battle within me, but I have learned that there is nothing else on earth worth holding on to or fighting for more.