Where is Christ among the body?????????

Im so discouraged by the "body of Christ" right now, it's hard to keep from weeping. I have been bombarded left and right with example after example of christians injuring, judging and rejecting to  suit their pride and self-righteousness! I have watched "friends and family" abandoned ship the second that they disapprove or disagree with someone else's opinions or lifestyle. There is no unity of the body. Is it not our obligation to love those that have fallen away, that are doubting their faith, that are struggling with reconciling the pain in their life to God's love? Is this not how we are set apart from the unbeliever? We are called to love even our enemies; and even more so remain of service to those that have lost sight of truth admist their darkness. It seems the second someone isn't performing up to the expectations that have been set they are cast aside. Is not the gospel based upon the very wretchedness of ALL our souls. Pharisees, broad of vipers is what they are!!!!! Comfortable they remain in their cliques and unaware of the souls that they destroy. When Alan and I were struggling and falling apart most of our Christian "friends" were no where to be found, but now they seem to have no problem casting their judgements on our sin and failure. Be a believer that earns your voice in people's lives by the love you have given. I wonder where Alan would be if one, just one, of his brothers would have remained to love him despite his failures. I remember one of the most monumental moments of my faith was when I was in the thick of my divorce and I had told a close friend of mine that I was not sure if I believed anymore, and he said, "I believe for you". I was overwhelmed with the love that I felt and I knew then that despite myself God still held me in the palm of his hands. Stop living in fear and start loving rightly, FAITHFULLY and whole heartedly.

Anxious and discouraged......

All I ever wanted was to be a mom and a wife. I felt that there was nothing greater I could do to honor the Lord. I imagined daily devotions and talks with my children about the beauty of Jesus and His love for them. I imagined this idealic life of love and joy where magic breathed regularly in our hearts. When I first separated from Alan I remember sleeping all the time. I would go to sleep crying and wake up crying. My heart physically ached in my chest. All of my friends seemed to have other dreams and yet ended up living mine. They have something I don't and as much as they try and include me I'm just not a mother, I'm not a wife. I can't possibly understand the love that they know and feel for their kids. I'm stunted in my walk because I don't know how to move forward and embrace something new. I start to enjoy and let go, but I'm jolted back to sadness and loss when good willed people step in with their opinions, laws and judgement. Am I allowed to ever be free? Do I have to pay for my mistakes for all my life? "Christians" are starting to feel like a bad cold I can't shake. This last year I have been alienated and rejected by more believers then one would like to admit. They seem to be the ones that give you the hardest laws and expectations to follow, but the first to bale on you when you are in need. I'm so sick of the hypocrisy. The fruits of the holy spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfullness, gentleness and self control. I wonder if those that call Jesus their Father are striving with all their hearts to bring these attributes to EVERYONE, not just those they have chosen to except and love. I'm of course not without fault or flaw, but isn't that the point, none of us are. The grace of Christ is what makes Him Lord over all. I'm not venting, well maybe a little, but mostly Im desperate for understanding. How do I love those that reject me? How do I keep from being discouraged by other's attitude?